I have been... holding this back for a week or so. And I only recently started talking to Pingy (PingTheHungryFox
) and Trent (Trent2Luigi
) about it, but...
I feel like it's time to tell you all why I've been acting a bit... weirder? Question mark?
It's because I have turned gay. And I know, it shouldn't be that big of a deal if I'm just... changing the way I see females and males, but...
I've fallen in love with Pingy. Er... I have for a while now. And I just recently told him about it. That's a bit harder, since he's already with someone else, and I've started to love him as more than a friend.
But what really hurts me is that I have a girl that I currently love as well. I love both of them, Pingy and the girl, with all my heart and more, but... Who can I choose? The girl that I've known for two years, fallen in love with, knows a lot about my life, but doesn't know a lot about my secrets? Or the man that I've known for about a year, fallen in love with, doesn't know as much about my life, but knows about my secrets?
I first talked to Trent, and he really did help me out with it, but... Pingy helped me out more. We had a big conversation about it, and he just... Really did manage to help me see the answer. Sadly, it did not end up with me with him.
But I feel that it's better off this way, y'know? I get to see the man I love more than anyone happy; isn't that all that really matters when you love someone? I don't know what I was even wishing could happen, hoping that Ping would come to me... He's with someone, and that someone makes him the happiest foxoo. That's really all I want to see in him: happiness. No matter how many tears may fall, as long as Pingy is happy, I am too. <3
I really do hope this doesn't change anything since we... gays seem to be hated a lot in this world. Just know that I'm the same Victini I was before, I've just changed a little.
[12:39:21 AM] Victini / Rai: P-Ping?
[12:51:16 AM] Ping: Ye? .3.
[12:51:30 AM] Victini / Rai: H-Hey...
[12:53:04 AM] Ping: Heya c: What's up?
[12:53:31 AM] Ping: Sorry I didn't respond on DA... had class ^ω^;
[12:53:35 AM] Victini / Rai: Oh.
[12:53:39 AM] Victini / Rai: Well uh...
[12:53:39 AM] Ping: What did you want to talk about?
[12:53:52 AM] Victini / Rai: It was going to be about the note.
[12:54:05 AM] Ping: Oh, did you send something back?
[12:54:10 AM] Victini / Rai: I did...
[12:54:20 AM] Ping: I didn't see - I was in class =ω=\
[12:54:22 AM] Victini / Rai: It's kinda a confession though.
[12:54:25 AM] Victini / Rai: /)w(\
[12:54:29 AM] Victini / Rai: A big one.
[12:54:32 AM] Ping: What about? .3.
[12:54:39 AM] Victini / Rai: You'll...
[12:54:43 AM] Victini / Rai: Have to read it.
[12:55:04 AM] Ping: Uh.. haha, alright
[12:55:09 AM] Ping: I'll be right back then -
[12:55:17 AM] Victini / Rai: Okay...
[Note] This is going of be one of the biggest things I'll ever talk to you about, if not the biggest.Just like you, I have that special someone for me.You know how you told me before that you were with ... and that you're... happy and everything? Well...After you told me that, I had such a larger respect for you, y'know? That you trusted me enough to talk to me about that. And over time that respect grew, until one day... I realized it wasn't the respect that was growing. (Probably because it's at the max.)It was really... Me falling in love with you.I talked about it with my brother for a little bit, and after a little bit of thinking about why I like... You and her, we came to an answer. It was 9 to 5 for reasons why I like who I like. It was 9 for you, 5 for her.It would be... Kinda odd to leave her for someone I can't see as often... But I do, I really, really do love you Pingy.And I know, you're already with ... and everything, but I just wanted to let you know what's going on. And uh... this situation I'm in since you do play one of the largest roles in it...And Pingy, this is not a joke or anything like that. I love you with all my heart, and I can see, hear, and talk about you anywhere I go.
[1:00:37 AM] Ping: Oh...!
[1:00:39 AM] Victini / Rai: /)/////(\
[1:00:45 AM] Victini / Rai: UBEIDUNAOIDNCIDNV
[1:01:02 AM] Ping: Oh, Victini... úωù
[1:01:13 AM] Victini / Rai: ewe
[1:01:50 AM] Ping: That's very, very sweet of you... but, man, you got someone, something beautiful with you!
[1:02:27 AM] Victini / Rai: I do, I really do, but it's all changing and... Really by August it'll be over anyways and...
[1:02:37 AM] Victini / Rai: It's just breaking me that I haven't told you yet.
[1:03:00 AM] Ping: I appreciate you telling me how you feel c:
[1:03:09 AM] Victini / Rai: /)w(\
[1:03:23 AM] Ping: But the me that's behind this text isn't as simple as the me that I've portrayed online...
[1:04:01 AM] Victini / Rai: I know it isn't, I'm really a different person behind this whole Victini act, but...
[1:04:04 AM] Victini / Rai: I love you man.
[1:04:06 AM] Victini / Rai: I do.
[1:04:33 AM] Victini / Rai: And I know you're with someone else, but...
[1:05:01 AM] Ping: óuò
[1:05:10 AM] Victini / Rai: /)////(\
[1:05:43 AM] Ping: You're a very sweet person, Victini. I believe you're a very sweet person behind the whole Victini act too.
[1:05:48 AM] Victini / Rai: I'm not.
[1:05:52 AM] Victini / Rai: I'm so rude.
[1:06:18 AM] Ping: Well, I appreciate the honesty, but you make yourself who you are.
[1:06:43 AM] Ping: You already have someone... I have someone, too. Someone I love dearly.
[1:06:56 AM] Victini / Rai: I know you do.
[1:07:07 AM] Victini / Rai: But all I wanted to say is that I love you too.
[1:07:15 AM] Victini / Rai: It doesn't have to mean anything.
[1:07:20 AM] Victini / Rai: I just want you to know.
[1:07:38 AM] Victini / Rai: It was a like the biggest boulder on my smol shoulders...
[1:07:52 AM] Ping: I love you too... but it's a love we must keep mutual for the time being uwu
[1:08:33 AM] Ping: We're friends at heart - the future may hold something greater, but for now... focus on what you have, not what you fantasize c:
[1:08:42 AM] Victini / Rai: Okay.
[1:08:45 AM] Victini / Rai: I will Pingy.
[1:08:48 AM] Ping: You know who you probably love more than me?
[1:09:02 AM] Victini / Rai: No.
[1:09:04 AM] Victini / Rai: Not really.
[1:09:54 AM] Ping: The one you're with, right now. You just don't know it... You've let that fire dwindle and you see my sparks flying, but you can't just give up on what you've had!
[1:11:15 AM] Ping: I'm flattered that you see me that way, and I'm glad you talked to me about it... but right now, you have bigger fish than me too fry. c:
[1:12:04 AM] Victini / Rai: These things always end horribly for me though, since I always find someone... nicer, but you...
[1:12:13 AM] Victini / Rai: You'r the one I love with all my heart and more.
[1:12:47 AM] Ping: Victini... do you know my name? ó~ò
[1:12:54 AM] Victini / Rai: Pingy.
[1:13:02 AM] Victini / Rai: That's really all I will call you.
[1:13:06 AM | Edited 1:13:12 AM] Victini / Rai: Pingy.
[1:14:58 AM] Ping: My name is ..Nein.., and I'm a Computer Engineer. I live in Texas ... so I can save up money to move out on my own with a good job where I stare at computers all day. I have no friends, unruly hair and I avoid the gaze of everyone I pass... I'm very cold to people, but very warm to friends, and I'm very clingy. I drive a crappy Grandma car and I like to hike alot.
[1:15:21 AM] Ping: Ping is only a piece of me. I'm not just Ping óωò
[1:15:43 AM] Ping: I'm also Samantha, Reino, Luxalia, Sky, Misa, Terry and Zoe
[1:15:46 AM] Victini / Rai: You sound like a German.
[1:15:50 AM] Victini / Rai: Heh...
[1:16:56 AM] Ping: I sound like a depressed vaporwave-obsessed American who loves oddities and being alone that's gonna grow up doing something unimportant and then dying with no one knowing.
[1:17:29 AM] Ping: I'm very different from Ping, but very similar. You'd have to really know me to understand... úωù
[1:18:13 AM] Victini / Rai: Aren't we all different from who we make ourselves out to be?
[1:18:21 AM] Victini / Rai: We all have those secrets we never tell...
[1:18:33 AM] Victini / Rai: Those things we always are ashamed to talk about...
[1:18:51 AM] Victini / Rai: But it all just depends on who your friends really are.
[1:19:03 AM] Victini / Rai: How they treat you, everything like that.
[1:19:40 AM] Victini / Rai: For all you know I could be some random homeless guy who took residence in a computer lab or something.
[1:19:58 AM] Victini / Rai: But all I know is that I love you so much.
[1:20:07 AM] Victini / Rai: Doesn't matter who you are, what you do...
[1:20:09 AM] Victini / Rai: I love you.
[1:25:12 AM] Victini / Rai: Pingy...
[1:25:34 AM] Victini / Rai: My name is ..Nein.., and I'm just some kid who tries to make everyone happy.
[1:25:55 AM] Victini / Rai: I have very little friends, since I'm super shy and won't talk to anyone...
[1:26:13 AM] Victini / Rai: I spend all my days just talking.
[1:26:18 AM] Victini / Rai: Nothing special at all.
[1:26:34 AM] Victini / Rai: But now you're here, and it's changing everything....
[1:26:55 AM] Victini / Rai: I have a reason to look forward to another day, to help people more often, and just...
[1:27:13 AM] Victini / Rai: You make me feel like I can take on the world as long as I have you with me.
[1:29:07 AM] Ping: I'm flattered I make you feel that way, I really am, but you're able to do all those things without me óωò
[1:29:21 AM] Victini / Rai: I really can't though.
[1:29:40 AM] Victini / Rai: It really did all start after I met you, and when I donated just one point...
[1:29:58 AM] Victini / Rai: You were so supportive, and you made me feel like I did matter.
[1:30:20 AM] Victini / Rai: And now you're making me feel like I matter even more, and...
[1:30:32 AM] Victini / Rai: I just don't know what to do.
[1:30:36 AM] Victini / Rai: I need you Pingy.
[1:30:52 AM] Victini / Rai: Not anyone else, no one can help me or support me as much as you can.
[1:31:00 AM] Victini / Rai: No one can love me as much as you can.
[1:32:00 AM] Ping: I guarantee you that your partner right now loves you more than I ever could :c
[1:32:10 AM] Ping: She knows you better
[1:32:24 AM] Ping: I'm here to support you, all the way!
[1:32:30 AM] Victini / Rai: She only knows the me behind the act.
[1:32:42 AM] Victini / Rai: Nothing about what I like, about you, about what's going on...
[1:32:55 AM] Ping: What do you like about me?
[1:33:44 AM] Victini / Rai: I'm pretty sure in some of your older videos, you had a face-cam so we could see you.
[1:33:54 AM] Victini / Rai: And so I love the way you look...
[1:34:02 AM] Victini / Rai: The way you support everyone,
[1:34:05 AM] Victini / Rai: Your voice,
[1:34:10 AM] Victini / Rai: Your art,
[1:34:11 AM] Ping: I'll open one up in one of my stream in the future u3u
[1:34:21 AM] Ping: And I mean like... but what about me
[1:34:38 AM] Victini / Rai: Just really everything you do... I love it about you.
[1:35:09 AM] Ping: Mm.. that's very sweet of you, either way uwu
[1:35:29 AM] Ping: But you have to let me pursue the relationship I'm currently developing on
[1:35:50 AM] Ping: Sometimes, the greatest thing you can do to someone you love more than anyone else is let them go...
[1:36:08 AM] Ping: ... except I'll be right here c: so I won't be going anywhere uwu
[1:36:21 AM] Victini / Rai: Thank you Pingy.
[1:36:34 AM] Ping: And promise me
[1:36:46 AM] Ping: Yoh won't let her go that easily.
[1:37:12 AM] Ping: Because that happened to me, and it hurt.... hurts bad u~u
[1:37:21 AM] Ping: You both gotta talk about it
[1:37:33 AM] Ping: I gotta head home now, my phone is gonna die c:
[1:37:45 AM] Ping: I'll catch you around, mkay?
[1:37:49 AM] Victini / Rai: Okay.
[1:37:51 AM] Ping: Kiss kiss <3
[1:37:57 AM] Victini / Rai: <3
[1:38:14 AM] Ping: I say that to all my best buds uwu is a kiss on the cheek -
[1:38:14 AM] Victini / Rai: Bye...
[1:38:34 AM] Ping: Go do something fun c:
[1:38:44 AM] Victini / Rai: It's 1:30
[1:38:48 AM] Victini / Rai: I need to sleep.
[1:38:50 AM] Ping: You can do better than me anyways... I'm like, lowest tier =ω=
[1:38:58 AM] Ping: Then get to sleep! :V
[1:39:02 AM] Ping: Night c:
[1:39:04 AM] Victini / Rai: I can't!
[1:39:10 AM] Victini / Rai: Not until you say goodnight...
[1:39:17 AM] Victini / Rai: And so goodnight, Pingy.
[1:39:23 AM] Ping: Goodnight uwu
[1:39:24 AM] Victini / Rai: Er..
[1:39:28 AM] Victini / Rai: Good morning.
[1:39:30 AM] Victini / Rai: Sort of.
[1:39:37 AM] Ping: Har har uwu
[1:39:42 AM] Ping: Get to bed, lil one ~
[1:39:48 AM] Victini / Rai: I will.